House of Galih Satriaji in Friendster

i just want you to know that the reason to be wise is you

She’s never be mine, but I’m very impressed with all she have done to me. I finally realized that she loves me so much eventhough it’s closer to mother’s love to her child instead of a woman’s love to her man. Mm.. maybe just like an older sister to her younger brother. I know she wanna me get the best of all. She wanna me get the happiness with a woman that better than her, even it must be very difficult to find a woman who warm just like her.

But, it doesn’t mean that i’ve closed my door to the other woman. exactly not. I just adore about her. It’s amazed me that she loves me so much even more than I’m dreaming of. It seems I find my mother in her when I close to her, hearing her joke, hearing her sound and imagine her smile, when i cry to her, when i say something that confusing me…

I’m just a lucky guy I think.. Now, I just wanna hope she will be get the happiness forever with her choosen man. Eventhough she will not read this passage, I’m sure that she know my wishes. My glad and pleasure if I can serve and give all my life to the woman just like this woman, someday….

Now I’d like to tell something happened yesterday "early morning". Early morning is relative thing, for me. It happened just after we’ve gotten up from our comfortable bed. It was about 6 - 7 in the morning, ’cause my sleeping cycle was about 3 a.m untill 6 am in the morning.

Ok, let’s go to the story. And the story begins….

Just after I woke up, I had found a short message appear in my mobile phone’s LCD. It came from Telkomsel CallMe. It said that there was someone who wanted to be called. The sender’s number was very familiar, it had token a special place in both of my mobile phone and my heart. Well, guess who? You must be recognized the sender right now. Yeah, the sender was her :p.

Can you imagine my feeling at that time? I had wondered why she wanted to be called. It was very unsual, accidental, … whatever. I didn’t delay that any longer, as fast as I could, I called her immediately and asked, "what had happened, my dear?" *dhueng….* Thanks God, nothings happened, she was only missed me and wanted me to call her. She thinked that I had passed my comprehensive seminar for graduating purposes and she had wondered why I did not informed her that I had succeded or even failed to pass it. Smiling understandly, I told her that my seminar was still in July and I had been preparing for it very seriously at this time.

And the conversation flew, with joke and laugh as usual. Nothing to lose. And that was the point. I still couldn’t find any girl who warm, kind, and jokefull just like her. Her sincerity in me after all I’ve done. Unfortunatelly, I didn’t find them in any other girls. No one who made me do everything that I can do for. Hmm.. not yet find them I guess… I’ve been very busy to search in this concentration, I have no time slot for this. It’s time to greet and say welcome to my better tomorrow….

I shouldn’t write anything about her any more, but I can’t help myself not to write about her. This feeling has to be expressed and I have no place to do except my blogs. I’ve also known that you’ve already bored reading this one, but just let me help myself, if you don’t like to read this entire blog, just go away and please don’t come back! Let me alone here…. For your convenience, I’ve moved all my next posts which tell about her from my main blog to this friendster blog.

Actually at this time, I have no problem with her. I’ve stated into nothing to lose condition. She’s already happy and I don’t want to break her happiness. She has already found someone who is the best for her. Even I can’t be the best for her, it’s not worthy if I still want her to be mine — this only is my egoism, just think my happinness and not her’s! and this is not the love should be. I know the time when I should have to surrender. And beleive or not, there’s some happiness in my heart when I know that she has already in happiness.

No, no, no! this is not about my old-and-obsolete feeling about her. I’m affraid this feeling are growing into unhealthy obsession. For me, she’s the best woman I’ve ever met through all of my life. And consequently, now I’m trying to search another woman, if possible, as similar as her. I don’t care, I just want woman like her: her bright and beautifull eyes, her smile, her attitude, her tenderness, her childish sound, and everything about her… This is not good for me.. This makes me hard to accept the one who loves me, who does care about me, and actually I do not want this things happened…

And.. wanna know the effect? let me show that..
Do you see the picture on the left side? Don’t you think it is so familiar? Who is she? If you are informatics student just like I am, you must have been already known with her. Yes, she is one of my lecturer in my department of informatics engineering.

Yesterday, I met her and submitted my "work on company" documentation. It was the term for informatics student who wanted to get their first degree. It was so strange whether I was so nervous when I had been meeting her just like if I met her (the last "her", refers to the one whom I am telling you in paragraph 2). It was shamefull.. I shouldn’t felt like that.. What a heck kind of this feeling? Am I crazy? I don’t know though…

Note: pardon me, the picture above is not under permission of the one who related to this picture to be uploaded here. It’s kind of my crazyness I think.. I’m so sorry ma’am